Patchyyyy, The Black

"I DON'T OWN 69Y BODY PILLOWS, STAAAAHP!"~ Patchy, when asked about his devastating secret.

'''"NICCI NICCO WRYYYYYY!" ~ Vaelia, describing the Lord of all things weeb.'''

"Touhou is better than Undertale! *pushes up nonexistent glasses*" ~ Derr-Bear and Patchy, arguing about gay shit.

Patchy is the Lord of Body Pillows, The Matriarch of the Tohou Fandom, and the gayest Pirate to ever exist within the realm of '''Locust Fork. '''

He's also the second Lord to master the Cancer rune, due to his abundance of Chromosomes. He and Derr-Bear are both masters of this Legendary Rune.

Background

Patchy's background is one of great autism, and monumentally gay Undertale obsessions. Which then turned into a bizzare love for Fluttershy hentai and Body Pillows.

Patchy started out as a youthful Lord, who was created indirectly by Momma, in an attempt to fight off the other Lords. But, as all Lords go, her plan was foiled when Coach King taught him the sacred art of Geometry/Farming cows. After obtaining this knowledge, Patchy went off into the Unknown, in order to find the Staff of Lords, an artifact created by Vaelia, in order to maintain ordinance amongst the other Lords. But, whilst adventuring, he found Derr-Bear, hiding away in an empty box of Lucky Charms. The two then became fuck-partners with one another, and remain that way today.

The Present

Today, Patchy, Derr-Bear, and their amassed army odf plebian butt pirates, rule the oceans of Locust Fork. Where they engage in gay shit and homosexual economics. They maintain the majestic vessel, the '''S.S. Kawaii-Desu. '''A ship worthy of only the finest weebs to exist within the ooze filled oceans.

Relationships

Vaelia: 

Technically, like every other fucking Lord, Vaelia is his mom in some fucked up way or another. But of course, since they'll fuck anything that has 4 limbs or less (even if you have more, she has a hacksaw).

Parathese:

Kek. I don't even fucking know. They;re practically like Trump and Putin, or Dennis Rodman and Kim Jong Un.

Berryaire:

He's Berryaire's little bitch, seeing as how Patchy is Berryaire's favorite target to molest.

Derr-Bear:

Them niggas be gay as fuck together.

Powers/Abilities

Lord Blood- 

Nigga. We've explained this shit so many times.

Body Pillow-

Patchyyyyyy summons a 5/5 body pillow, to fight for him while he jerks off to Fluttershy hentai.

Violent Masturbation-

Patrick flees the scene of battle for at least a minute, while he FURIOUSLY jerks it to Sans the Skeleton. This restores his health by a tremendous amount.